No trigger warnings that I know of. If you find any, please tell me. If you find any grammatical errors, please tell me as well.
Why is it that we’re still obssessing with such a narrow understanding of beauty? How can we not see beauty in our differences? We’re surrounded by people telling us how to look: Skinny, long, flowing hair, long legs, sexy clothes, glasses only if they compliment our look. What? Who could mistake that for beauty? Don’t get me wrong, of course many people who look like that are beautiful. But that’s not why they’re beautiful. You see, you’ve probably heard that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, but still felt that you weren’t beautiful enough. The truth of the matter is, you can’t separate inner and outer beauty. They work together and are sort of the same thing. Let me explain:
At primary school I had this friend and I always thought she was exceptionally beautiful. I loved the way her hair looked, I loved the way she smiled, I loved the way she spoke. One day, she said mean, uncalled for things to me, ganging up on me with other kids and suddenly her face changed, and I found that she was ugly. We made up later and for a while, I was indifferent to her appearance until years later she listened to me when I was in great need for someone to listen and I found her beautiful again.
You see, beauty is not something we can establish or reject by looking at someone for the first time. We won’t find it in magazines, on catwalks, in clothes shops. We won’t find it in skinniness, even faces or make-up. We won’t find it in being pressured to lose weight by people who think we aren’t worth their attention just the way we are.
What we do when we first meet a person and don’t have much to go by, is judge them by their appearance. We can’t help it. The understanding of what makes an ‘above average’ appearance in this society is questioned way too little, I find. When we first meet people we put them in categories, according to this stereo type of what ‘beauty’ is. The worst mistake we can make is reject someone because of these categories and to stick to these categories, even when we realise that the person in front of us is just that: A person, not a picture.
Everybody who sticks to these categories is missing out on the thing they originally wanted to do: To surround themselves with beautiful people.
Beauty if everywhere you find kindness. Helping someone, an honest smile, a kind word, a hug, listening, being concerned, paying attention to someone, having the will to fight with someone, for someone… This is where we find beauty, this is where we find love. And suddenly all the features of appearance that you previously categorised as ‘not pretty’ become overwhelmingly beautiful, and you don’t know how you could have been so wrong. So, the next time you look at a person, see them as a person and not as a picture.
And, if you ever find yourself standing in front of a mirror asking yourself: “Am I ugly?” all you really need to do is ask: “Is there kindness in me?” And then you’ll have your answer.
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