9. The Doctor Who Tag

No triggers. Unless you freak out at the mention of Doctor Who villains. Which can happen. 

1. New, Classic, or both

I’ve yet to watch the classic ones, so I have to say new!

2. Favourite Doctor

Tenth. Because David Tennant.

3. Favourite Companion

Donna, and then Amy :)

4. Favourite "non travelling" companion

This apparently just means a less permanent companion. Captain Jack Harkness, obviously!

5. Which Villain would you not want to run into?

The Sisters of Plenitude, actually. I would never dare to discriminate against cat nuns, but what they did with those humans… No. Just no. Also any cyberman!

6. Why did you start watching Doctor Who?

Because a lot of awesome people said it was awesome.

7. Top 3 episodes

‘Last of the Time Lords’, ‘A Good Man Goes To War’, ‘Vincent and the Doctor’.

8. What is your favorite Doctor Who quote?

“Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing. D’you know in nine hundred years of time and space I've never met anybody who wasn't important before.”

9. Suddenly the Doctor shows up at your door. Do you go with him?

Duh, yes, obviously.

10. What are you looking forward to most for the future of Doctor Who?

More historic episodes, because I love those, and hopefully some ex-companions returning for some episodes? Please?

Anyway, not entirely sure why I did that. But, y’ know.
I tag every fan of Doctor Who :)

8. My experience of watching the german casting show ‘Deutschland sucht den Superstar’ (Germany is looking for the superstar) (similar to X-Factor) as a young teenager and how it impacted my life

No triggers I think, but please tell me if I'm wrong.

I grew up watching this show and one of my biggest wishes when I was 13 was to be on it. I actually had already decided to go and audition there as soon as I turned 16, which is the age at which you can enter there. Watching some moments in the show completely changed that. Which is probably a good thing. I would have had a really rough time there. I know that because I saw some other people having a really rough time there. I’m not talking about ‘the funny ones’, the people who come to the auditions and really can’t sing and are therefore ridiculed - I really don’t want to know where this human condition came from. Anyway, I’m not talking about this phenomenon today (though maybe another time). I want to tell you about two moments in the history of the show. One of which made me reverse my decision to go on that show. The other made me stop watching the show. Both made me believe that the show was cruel and discriminative. All for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’ 

I first want to tell you about the moment that made me stop watching the show altogether. In 2009 they decided to ‘spice things up a bit’. In a Recall Challenge the boys had to basically sing while bungee-jumping from a crane-thing. If you were very afraid of heights you could not have done it. The girls had to sing while having a snake on their body. They had to look like they were enjoying it to score points with the jury. What? I mean I understand that it’s an entertainment show, but what? 

A) Why can’t boys and girls do the same thing? B) Why do people who are very afraid of heights or snakes be treated the same as people who bungee-jump for fun in their free time or who have a snake as a pet? Some of these people were terrified. Yet they were criticised for being afraid. The people said that that was ‘what Britney Spears was doing’. Well, Britney Spears probably wouldn’t have done it if she had been terrified of snakes. She would have done something else. I thought that this was so unfair and sickening that I directly switched off the TV and stopped watching the show altogether. I don’t get the fascination with shows like ‘I’m a Celebrity - get me out of here!’ I really, really don’t. But still. Perhaps the people in this casting show were even more vulnerable. Extremely young, seemingly close to fulfilling their dream and just as seemingly close to failing at it. And the show just treated them like crap. I mean wow. And I still remember this, even after six years.

The second moment I want to tell you about happened a year before. A sixteen-year-old girl came to a casting. She had quite a good voice if I remember correctly, good enough to pass the first casting at least. They made her beg. They made her drop on her knees and effing beg. How messed up and sick is that? And when they did let her through they called her back and took the glasses off her face and said: “Can’t you get contacts?” The woman judge said: “Look what a pretty girl you are!” - Without the glasses. The girl did get contacts, which actually infected her eyes - she was fine, no major consequences came from it, but she was red-eyed and in some level of discomfort for a while. She didn’t get as far as the live shows. Not only did I feel really bad for the girl, it also made me feel kind of heartbroken. I was a thirteen-year-old girl who was having self-esteem issues anyway. I believed that I was good at singing, my plan was to go on that show at age 16 and see how far I would get - I reckoned that I would either go through or, if not, wouldn’t be on TV because it at least wouldn’t be embarrassing. But - I wore glasses. I spent the next three years obssessing about getting contacts - even though they are less safe for your eyes than glasses. I thought that with glasses I would never be pretty enough to do anything, let alone become a singer. My eyes don’t take contacts. When the opticians tried to put them in, the only thing I ever achieved, was having a full-blown panic attack. I tried, again, and again. It didn’t work. Does that mean that I can’t be a singer? As far as I’m concerned, the fact that I wear glasses and my inability to get contact lenses into my eyes do not affect my ability to sing at all. Who knows, perhaps if I ever managed to wear contacts, I could play the piano with my feet and the violin with my hands, while singing a simultaneous duet with myself as both a low bass and a high soprano. If there was even the slightest indication of that being true, I would say:
“Oh, boy, you were right, contacts are awesome!”

But, of course, they wouldn’t be right, because even if that was true, I would still be able to sing just fine without the lenses.

In all probability, they were trying to prepare this young girl for the cruel, cruel world. In doing this, they were supporting the cruel, cruel world, saying “We approve of this discrimination.”

I don’t. I don’t approve of any discrimination. If you want to do a traditional Shakespeare’s play you would probably not be able to wear modern glasses. But if you’re playing yourself? If you’re a singer on a stage who isn’t trying to do anything but sing? Why on earth would it matter what they looked like? I think, even from a business-y point of view it’d be good to have singers who you can actually tell apart from one another.

7. Would You Rather Questions Round 2: Fandom Edition

Again, a bit of fun today. Why not. 20 Would You Rather Fandom questions, mainly about Harry Potter because there are just the most questions there! But also about Disney and Doctor Who!

1. Would you rather fight the Basilisk or fight a Dementor?

If it was clear that I would die or be kissed by the Dementor anyway, then I’d rather fight the Basilisk! If I had hope that I might not die, I would fight a Dementor, because then I’d have at least a wink of a chance!

2. Would you rather fly on the magic carpet with Aladdin or fly among the stars with Peter Pan?

I would rather fly with Peter Pan. He doesn’t need an old carpet!

3. Would you rather swim around the ocean with Ariel orwing through the trees with Tarzan?

Swim the ocean with Ariel! I love Ariel and I love the ocean!

4. Would you rather spend a weekend with Dudley Dursley or Kreacher the house elf?

Kreacher the house elf. He’s just… misunderstood… right?

5. Would you rather be sorted into Ravenclaw or into Hufflepuff?

Ravenclaw. Though Pottermore says I’m a Hufflepuff!

6. Would you rather have an Invisibility Cloak or a Time-Turner?

Well, that’s a tough one. Let me get back to that. No, still too tough!

7. Would you rather receive a Howler in front of your friends or eat a vomit flavoured Every Flavoured bean?

I think I’d rather receive a Howler. Because imagine eating something like that and then never being able to eat any sweets again because you’re too grossed out! Dreadful!

8. Would you rather attend the Yule Ball or the Quidditch World Cup?

The Quidditch World Cup. Hopefully without Deatheaters this time!

9. Would you rather have Severus Snape as a father or Dolores Umbridge as a mother?

Well, that’s easy. I’d rather have Severus Snape as a father! Plus it would mean that he might have fallen in love with another woman and might have found something like happiness again…

10. Would you rather have a pet Hippogriff or a pet Phoenix?

A pet Hippogriff. Though they’re not pets, they’re people!

11. Would you rather take a class in potions or in caring for magical creatures?

Caring for magical creatures. But I’d love to do both!

12. Would you rather have a flying broomstick or an enchanted flying car?

A flying broom. I don’t really like cars :D Brooms are more wizard-style.

13. Would you rather be a werewolf like Remus Lupin or a ghost like Nearly Headless Nick?

Seeing how I wouldn’t be dead if I was a werewolf, I would rather be a werewolf. Also, wolves are my favourite animals. It’d be cool to be a wolf. Only problem: I might actually end up hurting someone while as a ghost I’d just scare them a bit!

14. Would you rather spend a week in the Forbidden Forest or a day in Azkaban?

I would rather spend a week in the Forbidden Forest. Friends and foes there, while Azkaban is just there to destroy you and turn yourself against you!

15, Would you rather have Hagrid or Dobby as a friend?

I love Dobby but I’ll have to say Hagrid! He’s so kind and can also occasionally save your butt! And he loves and usually owns magical creatures that could kill you! You’d never get bored!

16. Would you rather change the story so that Dumbledore doesn’t get killed or so that Sirius doesn’t get killed?

I’d change it so that Sirius doesn’t get killed. He’s my favourite character and his death is heartbreaking. Dumbledore had a good, long life and kind of already knew his death was coming.

17. Would you rather spend an hour talking to J. K. Rowling or to Daniel Radcliffe?

Either would be amazing, but I’d pick J.K. Rowling because I want to be a published author one day!

18. Would you rather be the Doctor or one of his companions?

One of his companions. Because then I could have the best of both worlds! I couldn’t be the Doctor, that’s like asking if I’d like to be Sherlock Holmes, sure, I’d like to be near them, but actually being them? I don’t think I could handle it!

19. Would you rather own 3D Glasses or a Fez?

A Fez. Because fezzes are cool. Also, I can’t see 3D :D

20. Would you rather be converted into a Dalek or a Cyberman?

Gee, this is gonna give me nightmares! Umm… a Dalek? I always found them kind of cute in a disturbing sort of way. Cybermen are just terrifying!

6. Everywhere there’s kindness, there’s beauty

No trigger warnings that I know of. If you find any, please tell me. If you find any grammatical errors, please tell me as well.

Why is it that we’re still obssessing with such a narrow understanding of beauty? How can we not see beauty in our differences? We’re surrounded by people telling us how to look: Skinny, long, flowing hair, long legs, sexy clothes, glasses only if they compliment our look. What? Who could mistake that for beauty? Don’t get me wrong, of course many people who look like that are beautiful. But that’s not why they’re beautiful. You see, you’ve probably heard that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, but still felt that you weren’t beautiful enough. The truth of the matter is, you can’t separate inner and outer beauty. They work together and are sort of the same thing. Let me explain:

At primary school I had this friend and I always thought she was exceptionally beautiful. I loved the way her hair looked, I loved the way she smiled, I loved the way she spoke. One day, she said mean, uncalled for things to me, ganging up on me with other kids and suddenly her face changed, and I found that she was ugly. We made up later and for a while, I was indifferent to her appearance until years later she listened to me when I was in great need for someone to listen and I found her beautiful again.

You see, beauty is not something we can establish or reject by looking at someone for the first time. We won’t find it in magazines, on catwalks, in clothes shops. We won’t find it in skinniness, even faces or make-up. We won’t find it in being pressured to lose weight by people who think we aren’t worth their attention just the way we are.

What we do when we first meet a person and don’t have much to go by, is judge them by their appearance. We can’t help it. The understanding of what makes an ‘above average’ appearance in this society is questioned way too little, I find. When we first meet people we put them in categories, according to this stereo type of what ‘beauty’ is. The worst mistake we can make is reject someone because of these categories and to stick to these categories, even when we realise that the person in front of us is just that: A person, not a picture.

Everybody who sticks to these categories is missing out on the thing they originally wanted to do: To surround themselves with beautiful people.

Beauty if everywhere you find kindness. Helping someone, an honest smile, a kind word, a hug, listening, being concerned, paying attention to someone, having the will to fight with someone, for someone… This is where we find beauty, this is where we find love. And suddenly all the features of appearance that you previously categorised as ‘not pretty’ become overwhelmingly beautiful, and you don’t know how you could have been so wrong. So, the next time you look at a person, see them as a person and not as a picture.

And, if you ever find yourself standing in front of a mirror asking yourself: “Am I ugly?” all you really need to do is ask: “Is there kindness in me?” And then you’ll have your answer.

5. Would You Rather Questions Round 1

So, for just a bit of fun I decided to play ‘Would You Rather’ today. I’ve chosen ten questions from different websites.

1. Would you rather be ignorant and happy or be knowledgeable and never fully content?

Well, if all the bad things still went on around me, I think I would rather be knowledgeable and never fully content. If it became fact that I would never be able to change any of these circumstances in even the smallest way, I would rather be ignorant and happy!

2. Would you rather be able to go forward or back in time?

I would rather go back in time. I would love to be able to hang out with some of the great classic authors. I would love to know what it was like living in different times. I think we can learn a lot from the past for the future.

3. Would you rather give out bad advice or receive bad advice?

Receive bad advice. I can always choose to ignore it. But if I told someone bad advice and they go ahead and follow it and end up being hurt, well that would be terrible!

4. Would you rather be a master of every musical instrument or be fluent in every language?

Fluent in every language. How cool would that be!

5. Would you rather be in your pajamas all day or in a suit all day?

Well, does suit mean actually leaving the house and doing something? Then I would choose the suit. Plus if it’s like the classic suit that some men wear for formal occasions, it might be fun because I’ve never done that before.

6. Would you rather always have to tell the truth or always lie?

I would rather always tell the truth.

7. Would you rather have a photographic memory or be able to totally forget anything you want?

Be able to forget. Honestly - remembering every little detail would be very stressful I imagine. Plus I would never be able to get lost anymore. And getting lost is actually kind of fun.

8. Would you rather be a dragon or have a dragon?

Be a dragon, obviously!

9. Would you rather discover a cure for cancer OR find out once and for all if God was real?

Discover a cure for cancer! Definitely!

10. Would you rather be able to turn invisible or be able to fly?

Be able to fly!

4. Response to comment by lecturer on the meaning of life

Trigger warning: Discussion of the question if life is meaningful or meaningless, may trigger some people

4. Response to comment made by lecturer on the meaning of life, saying it would be “very depressing to talk about. We’re born, we suffer, we die.”

Dear lecturer,

I don’t know if you actually meant what you said there or if it was meant to be some kind of bad joke. Perhaps you meant it in some kind of scientific/factual way, as in aging equals suffering. The question arises why life would still be worth protecting if this was actually the case. Searching for the meaning of life is perhaps a pessimistic way of looking at the world: why would there be just one meaning, THE meaning OF life? It excludes all the little moments of happiness and fulfilment. Is the meaning of life happiness? If I’m not happy, have I failed at life? No, of course not. Perhaps we should phrase the question differently. Perhaps it shouldn’t be what is the meaning of life, but where can we find meaning in life. Every moment of happiness and contentment contributes to that, as does every moment when we’ve learned something from our dreadful experiences, every moment when we’ve helped somebody, basically every experience we can find meaning in. It still doesn’t answer the question why we’re on the earth in the first place. Why some people suffer more than others. If there’s a God. If he/she/it means for us to suffer. If you’ve had the experience of living through dark periods in your life, recovering, relapsing and recovering again, you soon learn that you can take nothing for granted. What it made me do is try to focus more on the little things, on the little, happy moments. It made me appreciate and value the good things that happen to me more. We’ve got to celebrate moments of happiness. In bleak, dark periods of our lives we often feel like this is never going to change, that we’re always going to be unhappy. Sometimes it’s impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. False hope and disappointments make us feel like our brain is betraying us. The fact is, it is betraying us. Humans have the tendency to focus on the bad stuff. There can be thousands of wonderful comments on something you’ve posted on the internet, but one hateful comment can make you question everything you thought you knew. Especially with depression you have the feeling like it’s never going to end, like you’re always going to feel this way. But it will end, and you won’t always feel this way. Life is a mixture of good and bad, suffering and enjoying, happiness, contentment, hatred, disappointment, false hope, justified hope, love, heartbreak… I could go on. The bad stuff, the bad emotions have a right to be there, too, as long as they’re within certain limits, otherwise, there’s help for that. The good emotions have an equal right to be there. So life is not birth, suffering and death. It’s being born, being loved, learning to love, being sent on an unsteady road with lots of surprises, heartbreak, emotional turmoils, but also value, miracles, unexpected kindness and the lessons that you learn from all of these things.  

3. Kill with kindness

It’s all in the title, and I don’t think there are any triggers here, but if you do find any, please let me know.

A strange expression, perhaps. Why would you even use the word ‘kill’ together with the word ‘kindness’, other than to celebrate alliterations? And perhaps the meaning is unclear as well. What it means to me is seeing negative behaviour, especially towards you. And instead of feeding into it and becoming angry youself, you reach into your self and find the place where you hoard your love. Use it to guide this person who is treating you unjustly, in hope that it will show them how misplaced their behaviour is. Does it work? Maybe. Occasionally? Yes, definitely. Is there an alternative? No. We should have learned by now that violence can only create more violence. We should have learned by now that the people mistreating us are people, too, who are not the devil’s children, but who are misguided. What we should do instead of hating them or taking revenge on them is a) forgive them and b) try to help them. This is a lot to ask from anyone. I mean, imagine they said words so hurtful they almost destroyed you, so hurtful they can never be taken back. Imagine they killed someone you love. These things happen every day. And I would never ask of anyone to spend time with someone who did such dreadful things to them. But please don’t forget that forgiving is something you do to create peace. And that revenge will destroy that tiny little piece of peace in a heartbeat. But I want to take our minds away from these more extreme cases, and return to the more regular ones.

You can only help someone, and you can only really expect someone to do the right thing if you show them how. They haven’t learned how to be kind to all people yet, and perhaps they’ll be inspired to be kinder if you show them how.